Alcohol and exaggerations: the next big trend?

By Desiree Bowser, editorials editor
Tuesday, April 15, 2008

All eyes are on her, and she knows it. The music is loud, the drinks are flowing, and she is “So totally GONE, oh my god!” So when Cute Stranger Boy leads her away, she thinks there\’s no harm in an innocent hookup, right? She’ll stop it before it gets too far, of course.

But can she?

Too many stories are heard, too many lives ruined, by some alcohol-induced party hookup later regretted.

I’m not just talking about the girls who claim “date rape.” I’m talking about the guys who go to jail, the guys who have to be labeled a sexual predator for the rest of their lives because of some drunken mistake. The reputations that are ruined, the stereotypes procured, the lawyers who don’t even know what the hell they’re fighting for anymore –

All because of a little vodka and lot of hormones.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation defines rape as “carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her consent.” Dr. Andrea Parrot of Cornell’s Department of Human Service Studies writes, “Any sexual intercourse without mutual desire is a form of rape.”

Okay, agreed. “Forcibly against her consent.” Meaning if you try to hook up with some cute girl, but she says “no,” too bad. Got it. Easy enough.

Things get a little more complicated when alcohol is thrown into the mix. However, the FBI’s definition makes absolutely no mention of an inappropriate blood alcohol content level or even whether a drunken “yes” still in fact counts as a “yes.” The thing is, 55% of all victims in rape attempts and 75% of their attackers are impaired by alcohol. I think the statistics are hefty enough to at least require a side note.

So what happens when some cute drunk girl doesn’t say “no?” An article in the University of Richmond’s campus newspaper describes one scenario. Listen to this:

Jill, a former student at the university, and two friends stayed in a hotel for a week after finals. One night, the girls decided to start drinking in their room. “I was very drunk,” Jill remembers. “I couldn’t stop falling all over the place.” The girls eventually went to a few parties, but when Jill got separated from her friends, she decided to go back to her hotel room to pass out. Her friends eventually returned with two males they knew from school; one of them, whom Jill had never met before, climbed into the bed between Jill and her friend. He began kissing Jill, never introducing himself. She kissed him back, “thinking nothing of it.”

Jill claims she had no idea how her clothes were taken off. “He just got on top of me and we started having sex,” she said. “I just laid there completely still. In my head I was thinking, ‘What is happening? I don’t want to do this.’ I didn’t move at all. I don’t even know why he continued.”

“I don’t even know if I can call it rape,” Jill said. “I was definitely taken advantage of. I never would have done it sober, but it’s hard to call it rape because I was too drunk to say no.”

The newspapers\’ final conclusion? Jill was raped. It even goes on to criticize her for not pressing charges! The poor, poor thing.

Okay, seriously? While the whole situation is definitely regrettable, to call the guy a rapist seems completely ridiculous. He was drunk; she was drunk. Somehow though, even though she continued to mess around with him, he was supposed to stop things right then and there? Talk about mixed signals!

It just doesn’t seem very fair, or very 21st century of us, to rely on the male to keep things from escalating. Even more so, a regrettable hookup, especially when consented to, does not equal rape.

So many different situations come to mind where girls have taken advantage of the system and claimed rape after a long night of partying. Remember the stripper who claimed the three football players took advantage of her at a university party? That was later proved to be one big fat lie.

Come on, ladies! We are intelligent, beautiful and independent beings. We have the right to vote, the right to drink, and most importantly, the obligation to take care of ourselves. We live in a society where circumstances can be brutal enough on their own. There are way too many innocent girls in America who actually are victims of date rape; lets not make it trendy with false allegations and exaggerated party stories.

And boys, a little advice. That cute drunk girl? So not worth the drama, or the jail time. Think with your head guys, and I mean the one on top of your shoulders.