Never Interrupt

By Danny Fann, Guest Writer

Water. The sound of covalently bonded hydrogen and oxygen molecules was the first noise that reverberated in my eardrums as my eyes flickered awake. I took a well-practiced gaze outside the car window. Clear almond shaped water droplets glissaded down the now glacially attuned window of my car like gigantic suspended amoebas. The nebulous sky was strewn over with the gloom of billowing clouds. My instinctual timing could not have been better today. I reached for the door handle with a stint of anticipation. Its sleek and vitreous feel ran a strange, yet wondrous sensation through my fingertips. In one quick motion, I swung the door out from its formerly closed position.

The sound of a cascading waterfall diffused into a splatter of water molecules grew much more voluminously as I stepped out onto the slippery pavement. The expansive view from here was no less relentless than from inside the car. The torrent of stormy precipitation was like the drenching tears of angels overhead. Fog invariably lingered in every angle imaginable, like an oversized lentic spider web that clung to anything it could possibly attach to. The indubitably arctic temperatures made my movements akin to running barefoot on an ice skating rink; there was literally no traction on the permafrost asphalt. The faint, nearly imperceptible odor of sanguineous liquid evaporated as I gained distance from the vehicle, its lonely metal door lay ajar, just as I left it. The man in the trunk would not be needing it anymore.

My leather boots splashed a nominal amount of aquatic substance as I strode towards the secluded, nearly invisible cottage, my movements carefully calculated. Any human being in the vicinity would be completely oblivious of my presence. The inclement temperatures were of no concern of mine; I made my way unhindered by the fierce inundation and brutal tempest.

I approached the cottage with much haste, knowing there was no time to dawdle. It was squarely in front of me now, and I could absorb every detail of it. The dilapidated red oak lumber appeared very rickety from the malevolent monsoon assault. The roof shingles were being held together by who knows what. The windows were shattered from what seemed to be countless years of abuse, the panes bent out of shape from a disturbing show of force. The front door was hanging by a thread, giving the appearance of a lopsided domino. From the outside, no one would have guessed that this lodging was inhabited by any sort of entity that didn\’t walk on four legs. All the better for me.

I shifted the doorknob clockwise with extremely meticulous care – if I applied any more force the whole ingress would have crumpled like flimsy paper. My glorious entrance was greeted by an expansive darkness. I crept in and shut the door soundlessly. My augmented eyes quickly adjusted to the pitch black caliginosity. However, my ears were to first the spot what I came to this god-forsaken shack for.

The creaking stairs wailed sonorously as she made her way down. An unmistakable smile was immediately surgically imprinted upon my visage. As my eyes made their hurried way towards her, I could feel my torpid heartbeat revive, utterly rekindle itself at the mere thought of her. My eyes met with hers and then knew I was no longer swimming aimlessly in the darkness.

I feel at the presence of a powerful yet quiescent goddess embodied and epitomized in the one I gaze at before me. Her hair falls down as majestic as a hidden waterfall, flowing so consistently, so freely. Her almond shaped eyes carry in itself both the spirit of love as well as keenness and acumen that no other woman could even come close to having. Her resplendent physique radiates with an endless vigor and demands utmost respect. Like a woman stepping out a dream in paradise, I can hardly believe that this is truly happening.

“Chantelle,” I began to say, my voice soft and reposing, eloquently disguising my titillation. “4 years. 4 long years without you. But you, you are here, now. The pain was more than worth it.” I rushed to embrace here, no longer able to conceal the overwhelming sentiment of excitement no being of mine should even have. Euphoric emotions rushed through every centimeter of my body. It was as if I had reached the pinnacle of life\’s meaning. It seemed as if nothing could even besmirch the idyllic orchestra that was here before me. We were found in each other\’s arms, intertwined for what felt like an eternity.

I began to speak again, but Chantelle swiftly placed her finger over my mouth, silencing me instantaneously. She shushed me in such a soft tone that I could not help but feel at complete ease. Her eyes and her body language all suggested the same thing. I was not one to lose the initiative, yet in Chantelle\’s company I could not help but feel entirely and utterly vulnerable…

A extraneous noise shook us out of our amatory stupor. The door had been jarred open abruptly. Though it came as to no surprise due to its pitiful state, I sensed it was something more than just excessive deluge and battering zephyr.

A man\’s overbearing shadow made its appearance at the doorstep. His immediate presence instigated my downright loathing. One gander caught what seemed to be a disfigured chunk of plastic attached on his head. Covering his eyes seemed to be abominably placed miniature window shades. His clothes hung on him awkwardly, the colors clashing with enough atrocity to render one\’s eyes ridiculously over stimulated. He began to slither his way towards us, mic in hand, with a strut so pompous that grand standing braggadocio was a horrible understatement. However, none of this would even match up to the words that left his mouth.

“Yo Danny,” the damned brute shouted into his mic, “I\’m really happy for you, Imma let you finish, but Spiderman had one of the best kissing scenes of all time!”

This man has to die.

I bore my teeth, my canine fangs disproportionate from the rest of the set. Pure venom raced through my veins, my entire body trembling from explosive outrage. My bout of fluttering love for Chantelle had ceased to be at the forefront of my mind. All that was left was that the blood of this monster be removed from him by force.

In a flurry I pounced at the man at terrifying speeds. His eyes, as I could see even through his poorly constructed face aperture, grew to twice its normal size. I landed on the wood flooring, sending fissures down every direction. I looked upwards with searing vengeance strewn across my face. The maggot had dodged at last second, but at the expense of his equilibrium. He lay with his posterior squarely on the landing. Knowing that his existence in the world of the living was fleeting, he removed a small handgun from the seat of his pants, quickly cocking it as if it posed a threat to me. Little did he know that I ate bullets for breakfast. 

Two shots, two bursts of gunpowder, two bullets sent propelling through the air. At supersonic speed I maneuvered out of the bullets trajectory, dodging them with inhuman ease. I could hear the bullets taking their stay inside the back wall of the cottage, one through a framed portrait and another through an empty cabinet. Unable to believe his eyes, the doomed varmint begged and sobbed for forgiveness. Unfortunately for him, forgiveness was not in my vocabulary.

With alacrity at a blistering fast pace I sank my front teeth into his jugular vein. Fresh blood, rich with the taste of retribution filled the hollow suction tubes of my canine teeth. He let out a piercing scream and attempted to struggle his way out of my jaw\’s viselike grip. Such a move only expedited his forthcoming death. His neck was separated into two, letting forth a gush of red liquid to spill itself all over the floor. Half of the now deceased man\’s cervix lay in my mouth. I spat it out by reflex; the taste of torn muscle and destroyed skin did not appeal to me.

I turned back to Chantelle, who seemed rather unperturbed about the whole ordeal. I wiped the cretin\’s blood off my lips and advanced towards her again, trying to recapture what had been on my mind before. The very sight of her made this an effortless task.

“Now, where were we?”