Who Has My Tickets?

Seniors, we\’re angry that we don\’t have tickets to the game and we know you are too. So let\’s do this the right way and share our misery while having fun in the process.  Here is your guide to the people who will enjoy the Bell Game without us.

Recent Alumni: They have graduated, as in they don\’t go here anymore. As in their glory days are over. We understand that Fountain Valley may have been they greatest thing that\’s ever happened to them, but they need to let it go. Their colleges probably have a really cool volleyball rivalry that they could get psyched about. Or maybe they should find some other hobbies that don\’t involve high schoolers. Who are also minors.

Parents: They are proud that their kids go to Fountain Valley. So proud, in fact, that they bought tickets to the game before most of the parents of the actual athletes could. That is school spirit. A lot of these parents bought tickets in bulk, not to re-sell but to bring the whole family. Go mom and dad! So now parents who actually have kids in football, cheer, and band will not be able to see their kin perform on one of the biggest nights of their life. But it\’s okay because John and Jane Doe and their kids, Sally and Bobby, will get to see the biggest night of those parents\’ kids\’ lives.

Chargers: EHS sold out of tickets four hours before we did. Naturally, Edison supporters were inclined to buy tickets on the Fountain Valley side. Because, really, who doesn\’t love a good fight?

Eighth Graders: They are totally going to this school next year, and they already have intense Baron Pride. But how much is too much Baron Pride? I don\’t know, maybe when you rob Seniors of seeing their school take home the Bell for the first time in four years.

Craigslisters: Fifty-five dollars for an eight dollar ticket? That\’s not unfair. That\’s capitalism. No, but seriously, that\’s super unfair.

Scalpers: These people are even worse than Craiglisters because on the night of the game they will be lurking around the OCC\’s stadium in stereotypical trench coats and probably shady mustaches, wanting to sell you tickets for astronomically jacked up prices.  Do not buy from them. These people have essentially taken high school football, one of America\’s greatest and richest traditions, and turned it into a Jonas Brothers concert.

Babies: We’re not going to name names, but it\’s rumored that a certain teacher on campus bought a ticket for his baby.  That\’s right.  A tiny human being that lacks the capacity to grasp the concept of relativity, let alone football.

As for the rest of us, free Swine Flu vaccines for those who didn\’t get tickets! December 1, 1-3:30 PM!

GO BARONS.