Turn Your Life into a Holiday Movie

by Martina Dorff, Staff Writer

What is the best part of the holiday season? If you answered KOST 103.5 taking a break from playing mediocre 90′s music to playing mediocre Christmas music, you and I can’t be friends. But if you answered holiday movies, we will get along fine.

You can make the rest of your December a holiday movie, if you’d like. Just follow these steps:

1. Lose your faith in humanity/Santa Claus/yourself and be mean and crotchety to people who don’t deserve it.

By doing this you are setting yourself up for some kind of “Christmas miracle” intervention.

2. Wait to be taken on a journey by otherwordly beings/a CGI version on Tom Hanks/adorable children.

If you had to choose, you would totally pick the CGI Tom Hanks, right? It’s okay, I would too.

3. Once on said journey, act cold and standoffish towards your guide and be on-the-fence about finding your faith the whole time.

Don’t worry, the first two places you’ll go will probably be your past and present. Those aren’t scary because, seriously; Been there, done that.

4. At the last second, come around and see the error of your ways. Thank your guide profusely.

This will be the part when you either see the future in which you are dead or you meet Santa. Both are frightening/awe-inspiring.

5. Go back to the people you were mean and crotchety to and give them a hug/tell them Santa is really real/buy them a cooked goose.

And boom! You have been transformed from a holiday-spiritless loser into the most revered and jolly guy or gal in town.