Dirt and Sky: Oh Me, Oh My!

(A short story by Annette Latora)

“You call that music?” Carlitos wailed as he threw his Ipod across the room. Never before had he been so frustrated with one of his ideas. “Calm down, Carlitos!” begged Percy, his assistant. “Come on, let\’s take a walk to clear your mind.” Reluctantly, Carlitos followed Percy up the stairs, and out the door into the dark oblivion known to most as the real world.

“You know Carlitos, you are the worst-tempered Unicorn-of-the-Dirt I\’ve ever met!” exclaimed Percy. “I mean just look at you. You\’re a mess! You\’ve been trying for months and months to create this magical potion of yours that will somehow get you to The Clouds, yet have only been met with shortcomings. Why don‘t you just give up?”  Carlitos began to feel warm, and could feel his temperature rising. “Ah, ah, ah, old chap!” blurted Percy, “I know that you are very aware that when we unicorns become too warm, we burst into flames! Rainbow flames! I wouldn\’t want you being sent back to the Medical Ward due to spontaneous combustion. That would be no fun at all! Who would I have to talk to? Who would I hang out with on weekends? Who will I watch “Family Matters” re-runs with?”

“Shhh! Be quiet, Percy!” shouted Carlitos. “No one is supposed to know about that last one! Maybe you\’re right. Maybe I should give up. Okay, I promise that after this week I will be done trying to make the potion. I will accept that my fantasy of becoming a Sky-Unicorn is an impossible dream.” The dynamic duo trotted on the cobblestone walkways sprinkled throughout their town until they were brought back to Carlitos\’s workshop.

“It\’s getting mighty late.” yawned Percy. “I think it\’s time I headed home. Peace out, C-Pony; Don\’t do anything stupid. Until tomorrow, my partner in crime.” The two did their secret hoof-shake and parted ways.

Carlitos waited until Percy was out of sight, and then began maniacally laughing under the starlit night sky. If he was going to become a Sky-Unicorn in less than  week, he was going to have to get started with mixing his potions. Carlitos punched in the code to unlock his workshop doors, strolled inside, and marched down the staircase leading to his dungeon-like workstation. Potions of all sorts were arranged on shelves by order of importance. Life and Death Potions were on the far right hand side, and Love Potions were placed on the far left. Unicorns had no need for Love Potions; they just naturally loved everybody and everything. Amongst the potions were piles and piles of research papers, books, pens, plastic cups, and the “Undo” button. That “Undo” button had saved countless lives. It always remained in Carlitos\’s reach just in case he drank a potion that would cause him more harm than good.

Red potions were mixed with blue ones, green fizzy potions found themselves swished around in beakers with brown sparkly ones, and pink ones were mixed with just about every single potion on the shelves. Sadly, Carlitos was yet to have any luck. He tried mixing herbs with concoctions, and even chanting riddles and rhymes while combining potions. He had no luck with finding the winning recipe.

Carlitos looked around his workshop in disgust, and decided to call it a night. He placed the potions back on the shelves, washed out the countless beakers he had used for mixing, placed his broken Ipod in the “hazardous waste” bin and climbed up the stairs. He flipped the light switch to the “off” position, took one last glance at his workstation and saw something that blew his mind.

Carlitos froze in pure and utter shock. Could it be? Had he really done it? Was he hallucinating? He ran back down the stairs to his workstation and gazed at the beautiful figure in disbelief. Carlitos had only read about this in his textbooks; no one in his network of acquaintances had ever been able to successfully craft a potion of this fashion. Reds, oranges, yellows, greens, purples and violets danced around inside of the sink. This rainbow was exactly what was needed to get him where he needed to go. Only one other being had ever made the “Potion to Go” and the rainbow-mess in the sink matched the description perfectly. Carlitos read the description of the potion aloud, “It would consist of all colors; Like with oil and water, the colors would never mix. The elixir will smell of sweet rose water and frosted vanilla cupcakes.” Even from across the room he could smell the mixture\’s sweetness. This was the potion that would help him get everything he wanted.

With the Undo Button in one hoof, Carlitos grabbed the elixir with his other hoof and drank the entire thing. He braced himself for what was suppose to happen, but after five minutes, he did not receive results.

“Why isn\’t this working?!” Carlitos screamed. “I am supposed to grow wings and be able to go to The Clouds where all of the privileged unicorns go. I want to be one of them. I wish that I weren\’t a Unicorn-of-the-Dirt; life would be so much easier. I would have wings, everyone would be my friend and…”

Suddenly Carlitos let out an ear-splitting screech. Out of his back grew a set of luscious and large feathered unicorn wings. His eyes became a deep magenta color, and his teeth became silver like newly minted dimes. His awkward voice became that of a confident being, and his mane became long with rainbow highlights that shone in the moonlight. He stood strong on all fours and knew that it was his time to experience life in The Clouds. He looked, sounded and felt like a sky unicorn.

With a nimble leap, he burst through the roof of his workshop and shot up into the air. The cold night air pierced through his skin, and left him feeling refreshed and energized. Carlitos flapped his monstrous wings with all his might, and braced himself for the impact of the cloud-cover that lied above. He closed his eyes, broke through the cloud barrier and found himself perched atop a puffy cloud. The Clouds were kept illuminated by a soft amber light known as the “rays“. Everything looked so whimsical and happy. Swirls of pastels made soft patterns and designs in the fluff of the clouds of the land. Happy Sky-Unicorns could be seen for miles. All of them were taking part in activities such as racing, painting, dancing, singing, mingling and enjoying the good life. As Carlitos shook off the excess cloud fluff that clung to his skin, the sound of trumpets filled the sweet air of the surrounding area.

“The Queen has come!” announced the loudspeakers strategically placed in the realm of The Clouds. “Please migrate to the southwest corner of the land in order to receive further instructions.” Carlitos began to move to where the Sky-Unicorns had congregated and listened intently to what The Queen had to say.

“My dear Sky-Unicorns. Listen to my words: a Unicorn of the Dirt is amongst us all.” A hush fell over the crowd. Carlitos looked around with wide eyes not knowing if he should run, or keep his charade going. “If you have any information regarding this inferior being trespassing in our territory, you are to inform the authorities immediately. Failure to do so will result in multiple floggings in addition to removal of cake privileges for two months.”

“She definitely means business this time.” said a familiar voice. Carlitos turned around, and saw Percy smiling at him blinking his eyes innocently.

“What are you doing here?” exclaimed Carlitos.

“Well, I saw that giant gaping hole in your roof, saw that rainbow drink in your sink, took a sip and presto! Here I am!” remarked Percy.

“Does anyone else know about it, Percy? Did anyone see you?” Carlitos frantically asked.

“No! Of course not! You don\’t trust me, do you? You think I\’m just a big mouth-”

Just then the clouds beneath the Sky-Unicorns began to rumble. One by one Unicorns-of-the-Dirt emerged from the cotton-like clouds like colorful maggots.

The Queen let out a yell, and was escorted back into her palace by her royal guards. “Code Brown” was screamed over the intercom, and the Sky-Unicorns worked themselves up into a crazed frenzy.

“We won\’t bite you!” exclaimed one Unicorn-of-the-Dirt to a Sky-Unicorn. The Sky-Unicorn whinnied and proceeded to cry in a corner.

Messes as large-scale as this could only be fixed by their creator. As much as he longed to be a Sky-Unicorn, Carlitos knew that everything should be the way they are for a reason. He knew that there was a reason why there were Sky-Unicorns and Unicorns-of-the-Dirt. Carlitos took one last look at what could have been, and ended the crazy hysteria of the Sky-Unicorns with a push of the Undo Button.

************************************************************************

“You know Carlitos, you are the worst-tempered Unicorn-of-the-Dirt I\’ve ever met!” exclaimed Percy. “I mean just look at you. You\’re a mess! You\’ve been trying for months and months to create this magical potion of yours that will somehow get you to The Clouds, yet have only been met with shortcomings. Why don‘t you just give up?“

“Okay.” exclaimed Carlitos.

“Wait. I\’m confused. I thought you were going to fight me on this, like with every other time we have discussed this matter. Are you feeling okay? You\’re not overheating, are you?” replied Percy.

“I\’m not overheating, Percy.” disclosed Carlitos. “I\’m fine. I just think I should start living in reality from now on.”

With that, the two looked at each other, laughed and watched “Family Matters” on Percy\’s 65” flat screen television.